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“Bingo,†said Nicole as she watched her brother’s cock grow wildly in front of her own eyes, “I bet you don’t think it’s so fucked up now that I want to fuck you.â€â€œW-what are you doing to me?†Paul asked, unable to move.“I’m turning
persephene: Yes, some of our clothes are from victims. We might bite someone and then you think, ‘ooh, those are some nice pants!’. What We Do in the Shadows (2014) dir. Jemaine Clement & Taika Waititi
WHAT THE! MORE AWESOME FANART! A;LGKJA THANK YOU, I LOVE THIS, ITS SO COOL THAT YOU WOULD DO THIS FOR ME >w< I KEEP GETTING FANART AND I DON’T KNOW WHY. I HARDLY POST, AND YET I KEEP GETTING FANART! YOU GUYS ARE MAKING ME FEEL BAD FOR NOT
pettydavis: vodkapapii: mostlycatsmostly: Abort HOW DID IT LAND watch this and then please explain to me how mufasa died
imthegirlwhowaited: spookyviper: Thank god for Russian dash cams to bring us wonders like this they’re saying it’s 3am and they’re so tired and lets just drive and get out of here and then it happens and they’re like ‘well that woke me up”
princestadiaries: To me, one of the hottest things in the world is jerking off daddy before we head out for school/work, then stuffing them in my mouth when I get home and wait for him to get home so he can pump another load inside me Handjob
and then you left, like a butterfly just as unexpected as you had come.
skeletonize: skeletonize: i was looking at old photos and i wanted to show you how our story went, a little bronwyn and i met at age 12 but i dont have any photos from then, really, but this is from grade 9 science class when we were being goofs and
O-okay then…I’ll just… Hide over there
thoresque: “If sweet, sweet God loves you so, then I will make you worthy of his love.”
scottfoss: I asked my roommate what she would wish for if she were a magical girl in Madoka, and then this wonderful mess poured out of her mouth.
i took the stars from my eyes & then i made a map
5bi5:ramblingcj:weaver-z:weaver-z:Prison guards: Iroh? Escape? Ha! That weak, senile old man couldn’t escape if we rolled a red carpet to the door!Iroh alone in his cell:I saw the video and thought “that guy looks like Jack Black”, then
memewhore:punkrokku:coolprofessor:“Ok dost thou finger thyself?(;”hamlet was the original fuck boy“I chuckle, and what then?”At least she ain’t eating cereal in bed…
zz32666: victorpopejr: yellow-alien: victorpopejr: White people will turn anything into a casserole What exactly is a casserole I still don’t know tbh I’m white and I honestly don’t know what a casserole is Its basically a stew thing that
scoobydoomistakes: …ah. Alright, then.
What I do not understand is people comin to me with fuckin shit constantly on my day off as if I were here with my nametag, walkie, and business casual. Bitch no. You can treat me like the MOD when I am the MOD. Customers I expect to know better and still
anxiety-unlimited: manaphy: bakrua: 2 feferi and an equius ok but seriously this post is so old i remember seeing this like over 3 years ago when i had like 32 followers and i was like “aw, im bad :(”, then i saw it again like a few months later
darwinquark:The fucking song and the hysterically thrown pillow that misses by ten feet and the prolonged scream and then it just runs out of cord and anticlimactically tips over I’m deceased.
spoopybarakarts: when my mom was 30ish, my dad took her to this garage band concert as a date and she really liked them so she bought a cd from them and talked to them for a few hours then promised to keep in touch with them and show everyone her cd,
drneverlandsrefs: addieofrp: instagrarn: oh my god press ‘shift’ and then ‘?’ #WHY DOESN’T THIS WEBSITE COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS
fujoshicabal:my fave overheard on campus moment of all time was the two guys who sat behind me in pop culture theory as class was starting one of them was like “so… do you want a blowjob after this” in a rly bored voice, and then the second guy
lesbianheistmovie:Then, you mean, all this time we could’ve been friends?What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? (1962) dir. Robert Aldrich
What'chu mean you don’t fuck with Flocka? Then I suppose that means I don’t fuck with you.
What do y'all like about Kaidan?
hollonsy: zagreus-taking-time-apart: The Doctor probably requests a kid’s menu whenever he’s at a restaurant so he can draw on it with crayons. And then he ends up drawing the Mona Lisa or something. With crayons. #doctor who #weeeeeellll #let’s
manuxinhace: Sometimes I’m confused by Canadian stereotypes but then I realize that we literally dump maple syrup onto the snow, wait for it to get gooey and then scoop it up with a stick and eat it you better not be fucking with me canada. Is
eridick-amporna: icantbelieveitsnot-better: #Jack was actually the Professor’s ancestor #but after being sent to the future the Professor was then never born #therefore never made the Powerpuff girls #and the forces of evil were free to destroy the
sominic-dimper: goddamnitobama: dipdyed: goddamnitobama: never trust a girl who doesn’t put on her bra backwards and then twist it round to the front why? bc she is probably satan trust me on this Wait do people actually put their bras on
xlei: tranqualizer: queerhairyvag: littlewendycat: aestivate: stfuconservatives: 14kgoldnyc: sanfo: notalexfelicitas: witsfordinner: youmightfindyourself: At first I was like lol, but then I serioused. For real!? Like I don’t even know what
what if all tumblr users suddenly went blind.
hasuyawwn: BUT THEN I WAS LIKE WHAT IF HE HAD ONE DROOPY EAR???
kuueater: do you ever wonder what happens on the non-weaboo side of tumblr
huffingtonpost: Watch This Little Girl Age 80 Years Right Before Your Eyes They say time flies when you’re having fun — and if that’s true, then little girl that opens this video must have been having a lot of it. See the full video to see this
what if iwadai au where they go to the same college and they’re fucking swOLE. like they wanted to reinvent themselves or some shit and freshman year they’re fucking ripped.. or some shit. dai with thighs that could kill, abs sculpted by the gods
nimbus-cloud: Asuma Kosuke took his day off to do research for his upcoming role in Meiji Tokyo Renka. This mostly means he borrowed a PSP from a friend to play an otome game all day and got so into it, he forgot to eat then whined on Twitter about
vintar: protip to aspiring authors: if you ever need to feel better about your writing then please just read any of the best-selling erotica titles on amazon you’re fine
bambz-art: Yuri!!! On Ice - Hero and Fairy I DON’T THINK ANY OF YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS SHIP. I didn’t think I’ll find anyone I want Yurio to be with then bam!! This ship came out of nowhere. Whouldathunk?
mayhem-is-hand-wash-only: diamond-sound: eridans-bullshit-magic: super-galaxy-gurren-lagann: just in case you somehow forgot how horrible the pro life movement is if people have the right to the hospital then i have the right to critically wound
dinosaurjam: sashayed: oh my god? oh my god? oh my god? oh my god?? oh m Like honestly if you have never known the horror of being told your own body doesn’t belong to you then you will never understand how this feels
Today, I fucked up... by picking up a hitchhiker and then showing up to my own funeral
Then I saw the moonlight bouncing off her titties
nympho–neko: Blowing Smoke is now up for sale :)*1080p-3:15- ū.99*Kira strips out of her cute kigu to show off her body for you in her pink bra and black g-string. She then grabs her vape and starts making huge clouds, blowing them in your face
hermionelovesron: Okay, so I’m gonna run, and you’re going to put your arms around me and then you’re gonna twist and it’s gonna be beautiful
meowvilous: inncendio: i swear on december 21st it will be 11:59 aND THEN ALL THE SUDDEN YOU THINK ITS SAFE THEN DEMONIC LAUGHTER ERRUPTS AND ADELE WILL BURST THROUGH THE EARTHS SURFACE AND START SCREAMING ’I SET FIRE TO THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAIN’ AS
avianawareness:Cockatoo finding out he is going to the vet - Starts praying in latin… then gets possessed by a 3 year old.
dawnsummers: how do people start dating like how did all these relationships i see around me begin. did someone just say “hey ur gay… im gay… u wanna go for it” and then the other ones like “im in” or what
foreverhonest:Here’s a thing that happened to one of my friends. I was there.Basically, we were walking down the sidewalk, talking about something meaningless. I think it had to do with a movie. Then this bus screeches up, stops next to us, and a bunch
oblivioushipsterr: big-tapp: That 70s Show cast, 1998 vs 2013 Lol they were so happy and awkward in 1998 & then they turned into these sexy smoldering beasts.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WHEN AN ABUSIVE EX CONTACTS ME AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS AND WE TALK FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES THEN LITERALLY 7 MONTHS LATER HE TEXTS ME AGAIN IT’S LIKE BRUH YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE AFTER I PUT UP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT GO AWAYYYYYY
supey: i just said “yolo” to my sister and she looked at me then she did a z-snap, whispered “carpe diem” and shuffled sideways out of the room without breaking eye contact
boycrazypatriarchyhater: supergirlisms: cognitivevariance: did-you-kno: The Tone Analyzer is a website that lets you enter text, and then uses linguistic analysis to detect your social and emotional tone.Now you guys can sound nicer when you send
sailorbrazil: what if i stick my finger in the pussy and something grabs my finger
moistwilly: if u dont pass ur exams then dont worry bc u dont need grades to take cute selfies
neptunes-salty-butthole: SO I WAS PLAYING MINECRAFT AND TRYING TO BUILD A HOUSE AND I FORGOTTEN THAT I HAD A NICOLASE CAGE TEXTURE PACK THEN IS STARTED RAINING I FUCKIGN SCREAMED
shit shit do you ever unfollow someone because you don’t want to bother them when you like their stuff but then you forget their url or they change it and you’re like no I want to follow you again!!!
reddxbunny:what if I only pushed the tip in and then made you jerk me off??
what if we were strolling through a meadow and i plucked a flower and put it behind your ear. what then?
what if tonight you were laying in bed really sad and lonely and then all of the sudden the fictional character you are in love with just knocked on your window like in peter pan and then you guys stayed up all night chattering and being best friends
